About Me

Hi, I'm Don P

Writer for DonDoes30.com, author of "From the Bottom of the Bottle", world champion and/or record holder in muay thai, Taekwondo, alligator wrestling, kendo, skeet shooting, egg fertilization, Jai alai, firewalking, powerlifting, Morkat Kombat 3, parallel parking, speed reading, and bull fighting. Participant in Super Bowl XIII, XXV, and XLII (on both teams simultaneously); Wrestlemania III, VI, and XX; 1988, 1994, 2000 Summer Olympics; and the 2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee. Lover of dogs.

DonDoes30.com - Don Painting


Male, 30 years old
6'2", Brown hair, Blue eyes
Childhood fear: Adulthood
Arch-nemesis: The question mark... and Chuck Norris
Favorite font: Wingdings


Then: October 25th, 2004

On my 21st birthday, I vowed to party and get drunk every single night for 365 days straight. I succeeded, and my revelry spawned my hilarious book, “From the Bottom of the Bottle.”

Now: October 25th, 2013

For my 30th birthday, I have accepted an even bigger challenge… actually, I should say challenges. Inspired by Matt Cutts (30 Day Challenge Blog) and Morgan Spurlock ("30 Days" TV series), for the next twelve months I will complete a different 30-day challenge each month.

"For the next twelve months I will complete a different 30-day challenge each month."

But I'll need your help. You decide each challenge that will be performed, what punishment is handed out if I break the rules of the challenge, and what reward I receive for every 30 days completed.

Facts About Don

  • He spends his free time translating books from Russian to Italian using perfect cultural context, yet doesn't speak either language.
  • During a trip to Spain, he won a bullfighting contest from his seat in the stands.
  • He understands the speech given by The Architect in "The Matrix Reloaded."
  • Superman collects and reads comic books about him.
  • He never receives a mailer-daemon response; emails always find a way to make it to their destination.
  • While he was swimming in the ocean, a shark ventured too close and punched itself in the nose out of respect.
  • He has never drank a bottle of scotch that is younger than he is.
  • Actors and actresses throw roses at him from on-stage.
  • The movie "Robocop" was inspired by a weekend Don spent fighting crime in Detroit. The metal suit was added to make the character more believable to moviegoers.
  • Steak stays at a perfect 130°F no matter how long he keeps it sitting on the grill or his plate.

Mad Skillz

  • Baller


  • Shot Caller


  • Brawler


  • 20-inch Blades


  • Chevy Impala


Level of skill (measured in awesome)

Become my BFF

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