The Final Weigh-In

Written by Don P on . Posted in Challenge #3 (2015)

(Reading time: 1 - 2 minutes)
Fake Before and After

Before I get into the numbers, let me say it's been one heck of a month. Sure, I've packed on a few extra pounds over the last year or two, but never to the point where people would began to avoid standing directly in front of me out of fear a shirt buttons would go from innocuous fastener to mach-3 projectile. And trust me, I would never let it get that far.

What do a priest, cheerleader, and 30-day challenge taker/comedy writer have in common? We could all stand to lose a few pounds. So how did the month finally play out, and more importantly, did I pass or fail? Well...

Here we go:

  • Starting weight: 252.5 lbs
  • Last week: 246.0 lbs.
  • This week: 244.5 lbs.
  • Total loss for the month: 8.0 lbs.

The Third Weigh-In: My Weight Loss Method Revealed

Written by Don P on . Posted in Challenge #3 (2015)

(Reading time: 2 - 3 minutes)
Less Carbs

Unlike my bank account, seeing the numbers on the scale get lower and lower as the month goes on is actually a good thing. I promised last week I would explain how I'm losing weight, so don't worry, I'll get to that summary at the end. Before I bore you with some uber-scientific crap, let's see how this week's results stack up against prior shamings.

Here we go:

  • Starting weight: 252.5 lbs
  • Last week: 247.5 lbs.
  • This week: 246.0 lbs.
  • Total loss for the month: 6.5 lbs.

The Second Weigh-In and The Secret Formula for Weight Loss

Written by Don P on . Posted in Challenge #3 (2015)

(Reading time: 1 - 2 minutes)
Crazy Math Problem

Another week down and some more pounds lost. Before I start revealing the "secret sauce" (mmm, sauce) behind my recent weight loss, let's take a gander at this week's results. Last week, I creaked the scales at a whopping 249 pounds. I say "creaked" in the literal sense because the scale actually fucking creaks when I step on its non-inviting white metal casing. Talk about throwing salt in the wound (mmm, salt).

Here we go:

  • Starting weight: 252.5 lbs
  • Last week: 249.0 lbs.
  • This week: 247.5 lbs.
  • Total loss for the month: 5.0 lbs.

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