This post is part 2 of 2 demonstrating the moves that make up the entire DPP Yoga system. Read Part 1.
The soreness has subsided with each workout this week, and now time has come to up the ante and move on to tougher workouts. Barring the first day or two, I feel great; more flexibility, less stiffness, and even a little more energy are just a modicum of the overall benefits. There are a total of 11 workouts that are organized in such a way as to slowly introduce each one over the course of 13 weeks at a pace of 3 days per week. But that's for pussies. Like I said before, I'm rocking this routine every day this month and need to modify the schedule as I see fit. Look at that calendar below. The page should have a disclaimer affirming that the itinerary, as it's written, is intended for people who drive off the red tee box on the golf course (ie. women, the eldery, and toddlers). Even the "advanced" level has participants working out ONLY four times a week! Where's the 7 day a week program for real men who have more chest hair than Robin Williams!?
The schedule used over the past 5 days looks like this: Sunday was the “Diamond Dozen,” a 35-minute introduction to the 13 fundamental moves of the DDP Fitness System (Read part 1 of 2); Monday was "Energy," a 20-minute combination of the 13 poses learned from the previous DVD designed to familiarize yourself with back-to-back transitions (and the reason I was so sore earlier in the week). Tuesday was "Wake Up," a 10-minute workout designed to stretch your muscles immediately upon, you guessed it, waking up. By far the easiest one thus far. Wednesday, once again the "Diamond Dozen," and Thursday a repeat of "Energy" — almost two weeks worth of work in 5 days. Suck it. All these workouts will be rehashed in greater detail in future posts. For now, let's take a gander at part 2 of 2 for the "Diamond Dozen":
#7. Table into Cat Stretch into Broken Table
Step 1:Start with your six-shots-of-tequila-in-a-row throw up pose.
Step 2:Deep breath!
Step 3:Puke it out.
Step 4:Return to throw up pose.
Step 5:Reach for the Patrón bottle.
#8. Supported Lunge into Space Shuttle
Step 1:Get into your best Shotokan Zenkutsu Dachi stance. Trust me on this one.
Step 2:Throw up more tequila on your opponents feet! He never saw that coming.
#9. Road Warrior 1 & 2
Step 1:From beyond the grave, summon Road Warrior Hawk (R.I.P. Michael Hegstrand).
Step 2:Get ready to catch that big motherfucker.
#10. Dynamic Resistance Cables & Dynamic Resistance Curls
Steps 1-3:Start the gun show.
Steps 4-5:Move into Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
Steps 6-11:Not entirely sure what's going on here.
Step 12:Push out your breasts like you want free drinks.
11. Dynamic Resistance Rows
I prefer to look at this move in reverse -
Step 5:Go to give a girl a hug.
Step 4:Whoa! Fat chick.
Step 3:Pull away.
Step 2:Clench those fists.
Step 1:Punch her in the saggy bags.
#13. Safety Zone
Step 1:Praise Allah we're done.