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01/30/2014

Lethal Weapon: Mel Gibson Out-Crazies Gary Busey

Written by Don P on . Posted in Challenge #3

(Reading time: 3 - 5 minutes)
DonDoes30.com - Lethal Weapon Title

"Whoa!" is all I can say. Take a look at the opening credits: MEL GIBSON, GARY BUSEY... cut to scene of a topless chick snorting cocaine and jumping to her death from a high-rise building. I could have stopped the DVD right there and deemed this the craziest fucking movie ever filmed! But I pressed on for you.

Lethal Weapon

In Lethal Weapon, the Los Angeles Police Department slaps together 50-year-old upcoming retiree Sgt. Murtaugh (played by Danny Glover) with suicidal loose cannon Martin Riggs (played by Mel Gibson). The result was two hours of Glover claiming to be "too old for this shit" and Gibson acting like a complete lunatic long before both of those things sadly became reality for both of these men in real life.

The pair-up begins after Riggs, a narcotics officer at the time, has a disastrous drug bust that ends with him begging a drug dealer to shoot him in the head before taking the guy down and almost shooting the dealer himself. Riggs is then transferred to the homicide department in hopes that some of Murtaugh's common sense and conservative nature will rub off on him. And that's where the comedy begins.

Don't Forget About Gary

But if you thought this was going to be all fun and games, then you may have overlooked the fact that the name "Gary Busey" was in the opening credits. Busey has a long history of spouting out metaphysical nonsense, concocting his own version of quantum theory, inventing brilliant mnemonic devices, preaching deep spiritual thoughts, and even telling anecdotes about how he used to rail lines of coke off of his dog. To sum that all up, we're talking about a guy who nicknamed his penis "Big Wednesday."

Busey plays Mr. Joshua, the right-hand henchman to The General (Mitch Ryan), a heroin drug lord who kills everyone in his path and was actually responsible for the topless woman's death in the beginning of the movie (spoiler alert). Henchmen only need three qualities for greatness: Loyalty, honesty, and an unwavering penchant towards violence; Busey was perfect for this role. However, it was Gibson's cornucopia of psychotic musings ranging from just generally being a dick all the way to picking up a hooker so they could watch "The Three Stooges" together that really stole the show. Let's stack them up anyway...

Let The Battle Begin

Gary "Big Wednesday" Busey

DonDoes30.com - Gary Busey

Mel "Sugar Tits" Gibson

DonDoes30.com - Mel Gibson
  • Busey allows The General to hold a lit Bic lighter under his arm for several seconds, causing his skin to burn. He doesn't even blink.
Gibson wakes up, drinks a beer, and throws the beer bottle through his own TV.
Takes a mundane order from The General.
  • Walks stoically with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lip towards a sniper who has no problem shooting school children.
Takes a poop (Presumably. I'm not sure since he doesn't really have much screen time)
  • Tries to buy a U-Haul full of cocaine for $100. Reveals he's a cop and is taken hostage by a drug dealer. He begs the drug dealer to kill him before turning the tables and almost killing the drug dealer himself before his backup officers break up the altercation.
  • Gets asked if he was found at a store named "Psychos 'R' Us".
Cries while looking intently at a picture of his deceased wife (It's been 11 years. Get over it!)
???
  • Climbs up on a roof to talk a suicidal man off the ledge. Instead, handcuffs the man to himself and jumps off the roof together into a safety net below.
Warming up his helicopter.
  • Danny Glover asks Gibson if he really wants to die or he's just playing. He hands Gibson a revolver. Gibson pulls the trigger but the hammer is grabbed by Glover at the last possible fraction of a second before blowing Gibson's head off. Glover proclaims, "You really are crazy!"
  • Busey swoops down in a helicopter and snipes the man about to rat on the entire heroin operation! A little while later Gary Busey shoots Mel Gibson with a shotgun during a drive-by and sends him flying through a store window!
Gibson passes out from the shotgun blast.
Busey speeds away from the crime scene assuming Gibson is dead.
  • Gets up, checks his bullet proof vest, shakes off the broken glass, and laughs about the situation (Extra points: Not being shot in the face at all)
Prank calls police officer to find out if Gibson is dead or not.
  • The police officer vouches and Gibson successfully fakes his death!
  • Kidnaps Danny Glover's daughter and negotiates to meet Glover out in the desert.
Still laying low. Damn, faking your own death is boring.
Is ambushed by Gibson hiding with his sniper rifle.
  • Manages to kill several men with his sniper rifle from hundreds of yards away despite helicopter dust, a smoke bomb exploding and mass confusion all around.
Captures Gibson and begins having him tortured with electric shocks to the body.
  • But wait!!! Gibson escapes by breaking the torture's neck and fighting his way out of a dance club.
  • TIE: Aimlessly shoots at Mel Gibson in a heavily trafficked area of the city.
  • TIE: Aimlessly shoots at Gary Busey in a heavily trafficked area of the city.
Loses fist fight, taken into police custody, wrestles away a gun and is shot to death.
  • Gibson challenges Busey to a fist fight in Glover's front yard amidst water spraying from a broken fire hydrant. Gibson beats Busey. Busey is taken into custody but fights officers for their gun. Gibson shoots Busey a split-second before Busey is about to open fire.

5

10

Victory

BOOM! 10 to 5! Gibson wins by a 2:1 margin. In all fairness, this movie was filmed before Gary Busey's motorcycle accident that reportedly left him with permanent brain damage. We're still trying to figure out what Mel Gibson's excuse is. DonDoes30.com - Lethal Weapon 5

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