Clint Eastwood was born approximately 42 years before Jesus H. Christ walked the earth. During his lifetime, Eastwood has dined with King Henry VIII, played flip cup with Napoleon Bonaparte, shot hoops with Abraham Lincoln, out-drank Hemmingway, and fist bumped Genghis Khan — making him the Forrest fucking Gump of your great-great-great-grandparents' generation.
Clint Eastwood has only acted a single day in his entire life. Since then, he has made a rather impressive living in Hollywood doing on-screen Clint Eastwood impressions for over 67 different movies. The intimidation factor of his scowl alone is undeniable. Even if you have a prostate the size of a bowling bowl, you can be damn sure that you're still going to piss your pants when looking directly at his scowl. But each one holds a different meaning.
You see, ladies, men aren't that complicated. Ask any guy at any point in time what he's thinking, and I guarantee you the response will be, "Nothing." I'm here today to break the code for you and show you the subtle nuances of our blank stares by using none other than Mr. Clint Eastwood himself. Be sure to take notes.