Paying for college isn't easy, and with tuition rates rising faster than a teenager's boner in a whore house, it's only going to get harder (pun intended).
Sure, there are scholarships offered by just about every school out there, but you have to be some kind of super genius or gifted athlete to have the slightest shot at receiving them, right? Well, not necessarily. Believe it or not, there are a shitload of strange scholarships sitting around out there they pretty much give out just for the fuck of it.
For example, the Tall Club International Scholarship if you're a male 6' 2" or taller, or a female 5' 10" or taller; or the National Marbles Tournament Scholarship for those skilled in the game of marbles; or even the American Nudist Research Library Scholarship if you don't mind living in a nudist colony. Just think, you could be rolling in the dough if you were a tall, marble-playing nudist.
But the good news for all you left-handers out there is the Juniata College in Huntington, Pennsylvania offers the "Frederick and Mary F. Beckley Scholarship", an exclusive scholarship just because you're left-handed, presumably due to the fact that you've been constantly crushed by the boot of fate since birth. Hey, it's gotta pay off sometime.
What the Hell?
This is the story: "In 1919, Mary Francis, a student taking a tennis class, was paired with Frederick Beckley, another student. The tennis coaches, apparently unable to envision a tennis future that would feature such lefty champions as Rod Laver, John McEnroe and Martina Navratilova, paired the two lefthanders. The Beckleys were married in 1924."
There you have it. Two people playing tennis — a sport even less enjoyable than soccer — set up a college scholarship fund that offers $1,000 to $1,500 a year to studious southpaws.
How Do I Qualify?
- You're enrolled at Juniata College in Huntingdon, PA.
- You're a sophomore, junior or senior.
- You're left-handed.
Is It Really That Difficult?
Really, Don, how hard is it to ACTUALLY qualify? Randy Rennell, Juniata's director of student financial planning, says that lefties are only identified by answering the final question on Juniata's individual student application.
Scholarship recipients are chosen from a list left-handers that have high academic records. Rennell adds, however, the college does not ask the students to prove they are left-handed! "We don't even check closely when they are signing the forms," he says. Which is precisely how I'd expect a liberal arts college to act.