Before starting this challenge, I had no idea what the hell "a gluten" was, let alone the unimaginable horror it leaves behind for those suffering from this terrible fate. Like all other cool new diseases and fads with spectrums (autism, eating disorders, depression), gluten's own spectrum of symptoms ranges from people who "just want to lose weight" (we'll get to those assholes later) to "mild discomfort" to "that scene in "Alien" where a Xenomorph rips through a man's intestinal tract."
Well, Celiac disease, ladies and gentlemen, is the full blown AIDS of the gluten world. So what the hell is celiac disease, what happens to the human body, and why are these people so pissed at the fad followers of a gluten-free diet? Let's take a look...
- Celiac Disease is a digestive auto-immune disorder — not an allergy.
- There is currently no cure for this disease.
- Celiac should not be confused with Cialis, a popular erectile dysfunction medicine.
- Everything that has ever tasted amazing and delicious contains Gluten.
Celiac disease is an digestive disorder caused by the consumption of gluten, a protein commonly found in wheat, barley & rye. Therefore, all delicious food must be avoided, such as: bread, pasta, cookies, pizza crust and any other foods containing wheat, barley or rye. Oats may contain some gluten as well, but there is a debate due to the fact that SOME people are able to digest oats without consequence.
When a person with celiac disease eats foods containing gluten, an immune reaction occurs in the small intestine, resulting in damage to the surface of the small intestine and an inability to absorb certain nutrients from food. This decreased absorption of nutrients can cause vitamin deficiencies that fuck with your brain, peripheral nervous system, bones, liver and other vital organs.
It's estimated that a staggering 1 out of every 133 Americans have Celiac Disease, yet 97% of them don’t even fucking know it even though these symptoms scream, "GO TO THE DOCTOR!"
The Mild Symptoms
- Joint Pain
- Muscle Weakness
- Weight Loss
The More Serious Symptoms
- Constant Fatigue
- Brain Fog
- Difficulty Focusing
The "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" Symptoms
- Liver Disease
- Nerve Damage
- Thyroid Disorders
- Infertility (men and women)
- Repeated Miscarriages
Sadly for Celiac disease suffers, these guys are the only Cure they'll be able to enjoy for a while. And I'm using the words "enjoy The Cure" so charitably that I should be able to write this post off on my taxes. The only way to even deal with the disease is to adhere to a strict gluten-free diet for the rest of your goddamn life. Just watch out for all the foods that contain hidden gluten. Sleep tight!