Not everything I tried this month tasted like rotting Chinese food soaked in embalming fluid. Just check out the list of foods below. Without getting into a heated debate about Monsanto, let's just calm our tits and agree that a lot of things can go wrong when chemically screwing around with food. A lot. Pizza, beer, and cookies are no exception to this rule.
But in this case I found the best of all three of those — and, like a 6-year-old, that's the type of diet I can embrace.
Much of the trial and error process was due to the fact that a person can only go so long without beer before losing their mind. Sure whiskey, vodka, and wine are all gluten-free alternatives, but a cold brewski on a hot spring afternoon is unparalleled.
Omission Beer (Pale Ale)
For as long as groups of people have come together to embarrassingly hookup with each other, beer has been around to provide them with an excuse. In fact, historic records show "beer goggles" were invented long before "actual goggles." Maybe.
Giving up beer for 30 days was going to be hell, and looking for a gluten-free alternative almost ended after sampling Redbridge from Anheuser Busch.
However, Omission Pale Ale tastes like beer! While Redbridge was made using ingredients that do not contain gluten, Omission brews their beverages just like any other beer and then through the gift of science removes the gluten! What's left is a full flavored beer that is as good as any other pale ale I've drank.
Domino's Gluten-Free Pizza
Let's start from the beginning. I was never a huge fan of Domino's, mostly because The Noid — an advertising character for Domino's Pizza in the mid-1980s — was more annoying than a knock-knock joke and, oh yeah, also their pizza sucked.
Luckily, The Noid eventually died out in the early 1990s, and Domino's completely revamped their entire pizza recipe a few years ago. The new recipe shot Domino's into the crappy pizza chain stratosphere right above Pizza Hut yet still far below Papa John's.
Discovering they make a gluten-free thin crust pizza that actually tasted good was even more surprising. Believe it or not, they do have a disclaimer stating that the pizza is "prepared in a common kitchen with the risk of gluten exposure" by cross contamination, presumably from Luigi flipping your pizza around like a Chinese gymnast in a kitchen filled with flour. But I'll take that chance.
Pamela's Chunky Chocolate Chip Cookies
There are tons of different types of cookies which means a ton of ways to really fuck them up. Hands down, chocolate chip cookies are far superior to any others out there. Don't agree? Well, fuck you.
For fear of disappointment, I didn't even want to try a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie and ruin every childhood memory I had of scrumptious Chips Ahoy. But, hey, it would be a challenge if I didn't have to eat something as repulsive as a chocolate chip cookie, right?
Although these cookies are a little drier and more crumbly than their gluten packed counterpart, they actually tasted pretty damn good. Enjoyed with a nice, ice cold glass of milk you really couldn't tell the difference.