Sitting on your ass and typing real-world, actual words into your electric word machine has become an act of yore. Do they even teach "touch typing" on a QWERTY keyboard in school anymore? Do kids even know what QWERTY is!?
Between texting and video games, thumbs are now the strongest muscle in the human body — and that's just a sad state of affairs. You see, in the past, men and women's testicle size was directly related to the number of words-per-minute (WPM) they could pound out on a standard keyboard.
A higher WPM score on your résumé meant the difference between scoring that cushy office job, complete with a large breasted secretary who could keep a secret, versus living under an overpass, eating jellied eel from a cup, and making deodorant out of soap shavings.
Touch Typing Certification
The typing certification takes only a minute and is completely FREE. There are a lot of typing tests out there so keep clacking away, but most will make you pay to download the certificate when you've completed the test.
Given the amount of writing I do on here, the number of office hours wasted sending emails, and the fact that I wrote a book, I thought my WPM score would be higher. But according to a statistical study of over 4,000 test scores, I still rank in the Top 10% of all typing scores. So, SUCK IT!