Driving Over the Influence: Defensive Driving Course

Written by Don P on . Posted in Challenge #7

(Reading time: 2 - 3 minutes)
DonDoes30.com - Defensive Driving Certification

Not only is driving the most common form of travel, it's also one of the most popular ways die in the modern world. And despite the fact that manufactures are making cars safer than ever before, they are still driven by humans who, let's be honest, often have trouble executing even the minimal techniques and rules required to operate a motor vehicle.

Most people use their cars to take the kids to school, get to work, go to the mall, pick up hookers and, you know, act like a sane human being, but that's just simply not everyone's philosophy. Once those keys are in the ignition, even if they're only driving five minutes down the road to pick up that Lady Gaga CD that they loaned to their cousin, it's time to rock out like someone out of "The Road Warrior."

DonDoes30.com - Road Warrior 2 Baby I was born this way!!!

So keep in mind: as soon as you back your car out of the driveway, every single driver on the road is your enemy. Period. It's a fucking war zone out there, and your arsenal consists of catch phrases like "whatever, bitch" and "Pfft! *jerk-off hand motion*" while blasting obnoxiously loud music. Everyone better know to watch the hell out for you.

Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum you cross someone completely zoned out. Scientific studies tell us that act of driving lulls people into a meditative state. This totally makes sense. When I have a tiny bout of insomnia, or just thinking through a complicated problem at work, I instinctively hop into my car and drive aimlessly for 20 or 30 minutes to lull me into a driving-induced Zen state. Eventually my brain gives up the fight and drags itself into a state of oblivion. Hell, I wrote an entire book in my head just during the daily commute to work.

For the Ladies

Now ladies, listen up. We all have days when we're running late. The dog pissed on your brand new pumps, the car needs a jump start, the dog shit on the carpet in the living room (Jesus Christ, take that fucking dog outside more often), your alarm didn't go off, you hit snooze too many times again, etc. But playing makeup artist while driving isn't acceptable. Take your happy ass to the bathroom when you get to work and do your makeup there or even stay in your car a few minutes when you're parked in the parking lot outside. No one needs you slowly drifting into their lane and then jerking the wheel back every 15 seconds just so you can make those eyelashes pop.

DonDoes30.com - Distracted Driver

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