"This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'm probably gonna have to barf up a lung, so I'd better make this one count."
- Ferris Bueller
Sick days blow Mexican donkey dick on a hot July afternoon in the streets of Tijuana; especially when you can't entertain yourself with TV or the internet. I came home last night from work with a 101.0 degree fever and nausea that would take the crew of "The Deadliest Catch" down to their knees. With that kind of opposition I slept from 7:30pm-6:30am, decided I wasn't going to work today, then proceeded to sleep from 8am-12pm this morning. There are only so many hours you can lay in bed before feeling like the original cast of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," so I knew I had to do something with my day.
"Everyday is a sick day at our age!"
I have a black belt in "Draw Something", the addictive smartphone app created by OMGPOP where you face-off in a virtual game of Pictionary. But how do I get my fix? Logic shows that the only comparable program to "Draw Something" is Microsoft Paint. Microsoft Paint (or MS Paint for the 3l33t) is the greatest photo editor in the entire world. The extremely powerful interface alone allows you to draw circles, lines, and squares using a pallet of 28 colors! Fuck you, Photoshop. Each one of these masterpieces took me about a half hour to complete, and I figure anything I create can't be worst than this...
Or can they?
See if you can spot the original versus the MS Paint version:
Starry Night - Vincent van Gogh
Girl with a Pearl Earring - Johannes Vermeer
American Gothic - Grant Wood
Whistler's Mother - James Whistler
Mona Lisa - Leonardo da Vinci