Living without the internet for a week (so far) really brings some things into perspective. This post is part 4 of a 5 post series about Internet Luxuries You're Taking for Granted. Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.
Oh, Mother Nature; she sure is a fickle bitch. Earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, flash floods, volcanic eruptions and tsunamis are all her little ways of saying, "Fuck you!" Possibly for all those times we completed destroy a forest to build that city's 9th Wal-Mart. But now we have storm tracking systems more sophisticated than the computers that flew a fucking man to the moon, and the meteorologist — or weathermen as they were know before feminism — who are just competent enough predict the weather accurately, we'll say, 20% of the time?
Then there's this guy
Regardless, weathermen (up yours, feminists) are still pretty good when you need to know whether or not a cold front or heat wave might be moseying through. But have you ever been ill-prepared and walked out of your house to find the frigid air has turned you nipples into daggers sharp enough to whittle a princess cut into a diamond? "No, I have up to the minute weather updates at the click of a fucking mouse," should be your answer. Well that was exactly the predicament I faced this week when a severe cold front came through, dropping the temperature from a gorgeous 76 degrees on Tuesday to a teeth-chattering, pneumonia-causing 47 degrees on Wednesday. Sure, Florida is mostly known for its beautiful weather, inviting beaches, and bat shit crazy news stories, but the common misconception is that gorgeous weather surrounds us ALL THE TIME when, in fact, it doesn't.
During certain months, Florida's temperature is know for having larger spreads than an Iowa State football game, and a drop from 76 to 47 isn't uncommon; in fact, that decline happens several times every year — and sometimes worse. So when you're feeling down on your luck and hate the weather surrounding you, just look up on the internet the weather in Canada at that moment. You'll feel much better.
"Summer is finally here!"