Living without the internet for a week (so far) really brings some things into perspective. This post is part 5 of a 5 post series about Internet Luxuries You're Taking for Granted. Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.
Long gone are the days of being forced into buying toilet paper without first Googling "Charmin Ultra Soft reviews" to research the texture, softness, absorbency, strength and tearability; all important factors in avoiding that awkward moment when your finger pokes through the toilet paper into your ass. Long live the internet! Looking up a product review online is the first step you take when someone uninvitedly proclaims at a party, "Oh man! The LitterMaid LME9000 Elite Mega Advanced Automatic Self-Cleaning Litter Box is the best goddamn litter box ever!" Off to the computer you go to find, "Only 1 1/2 stars on Amazon!?!? Nice try, you feline-loving asshole!"
Right where you belong!
I don't even buy table salt anymore without first sifting through tens, maybe hundreds, of individual reviews of different brands and types on Amazon, so you can easily imagine the utter silence on the phone when my mom asked what I want for Christmas this year. How do you choose between millions of products when you can't access online review to determine which are good and which will blow up in your face (both figuratively and literally)?
That's right, the old, reliably Consumer Reports. Many will argue that this publication is superior to online reviews, pointing to the fact that anybody can write a review online, on any product, whether they have bought it or not. In many cases, this gives rise to people finding ridiculous and useless products in which they leave sarcastic remarks and otherwise false information. And the results are HILARIOUS! Either way, if you're not scrutinizing every single product you bring into your home, you should. Just don't take that privilege for granted.