Just the word alone — "whiskey" — conjures up manly images, such as punching a horse, killing a bison with your bare hands, or filing one's taxes on time. In reality, whiskey is just a vehicle whose only destinations are Mexico, jail, and Hell. In that order. But it's one heck of a ride.
Whiskey is not so much a drink as it is a way to keep women out of biker bars, monster truck rallies, and John Wayne movie marathons. There's also the added benefit of "whiskey dick," a side effect that prevents men around the world from sticking their dicks into open light sockets. Trust me, we've all been there.
In my prime, I could drink an entire bottle of Jack Daniel's with impunity. That's not to brag because frankly that's what therapists call "a problem," but that part of my past should be a good indication of how far I've come, considering I don't (read: can't) drink THAT much anymore. During this 30-day, no alcohol challenge, I miss whiskey the most.
There are many ways to drink whiskey. Don't worry, all the methods below involve your mouth; not injecting it intravenously as Motley Crüe would have you believe.