I don't normally give shameless plugs for services or products I can't make any money off of (thus the reason for my affiliate disclosure), but I'm definitely going to make an exception this time.
Pizza and beer go together like peanut butter and jelly; Halloween and diabetes; or cocaine and anal sex. All four of those examples are staples in American culture.
Here's the problem though: With Challenge #12 still in effect, the "beer" in that equation is missing, leaving the only logical alternative: fill that void with more pizza — A LOT more fucking pizza.
But not just ANY pizza, because really, what would be the point of shoving my face full of cardboard crust, watery tomato sauce, and rubbery cheese without the aid of beer to wash it all down? That's where Mama Q's Pizza saved the day.
Mama Q's Pizza
Mama Q's pizza is located on Old St Augustine Road in the Mandarin area (see map below). If you have no idea what I'm talking about, chances are you don't live in Jacksonville then and this whole review is moot. But if you do live around the North Florida area, you'll want to check out them out.
Mama Q's offers some of the most unique pies, using only the freshest ingredients available. Because their modus operandi is to buy their ingredients from local producers, you won't find frozen dough or other prepackaged shit from those corporate chains that your cesspool palate for a mouth is used to.
I sampled just about every pizza Mama Q's has to offer, and here are the results:
Third Place: The Kitchen Sink
As you've probably already deduced, this pizza get its name from the idiom "everything but the kitchen sink." And it's true. Every fresh ingredient they have and you could possibly imagine is thrown on that pizza and baked to delicious goodness. Just look at how fresh those peppers are, motherfucker! You haven't see a vibrant green like that since your last herpes outbreak.
Second Place: The BBQ Pizza
Under normal circumstances, BBQ is BBQ and pizza is pizza — they shouldn't go together. Period. That's just my opinion, at least that WAS my opinion until I tried this pizza. Surprisingly this was a perfect blend of grilled chicken breast, onions, cheese, and bacon (lots of bacon) topped with a sweet, smokey BBQ sauce. Did I mention it had bacon?
First Place: The Mashed Potato Pizza
No question here, the blue ribbon goes to their carb-overloaded Mashed Potato Pizza. The mix of crispy pizza dough, creamy garlic mashed potatoes, sharp cheddar cheese, crunchy bacon and fresh chives is enough to put anyone into a coma, while simultaneously giving you an erection the length and hardness of a Louisville Slugger. If you're looking to carbo-load in anticipation for a foot race around the world, look no further. This pizza knocks it out of the park for a game-winning home run (presumably using aforementioned erection).